Building a Strong and Happy Marriage

Marriage is work. Saying “I Do” does not automatically lead to “happily ever after.” That is what the fairy tales would have us believe, but reality quickly teaches the truth about marriage. So how do does one go about creating a marriage relationship that will last the trials and challenges of real life? Stay tuned…

(I’m using “Foundational Processes for an Enduring, Healthy Marriage”, by Stephen F. Duncan and Sara S McCarty Zasukha (Hawkins, pg. 27) as the main resource for this post.)

1. “Successful marriages are founded on the teachings of the lord Jesus Christ and tied to our discipleship.” (Hawkins, pg. 28) Sound familiar? Yes, discipleship was mentioned in the dating post, too.

2. “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other…” (The Family Proclamation, ¶ 6) Loving someone is more than just a feeling it is a choice. 

3. Positive Interaction!

“I have witnessed much of the best and much of the worst in marriage…Faultfinding replaces praise. When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it. But if we will concentrate on the best, that element will grow until it sparkles.” Gordon B. Hinckley (Hawkins, pg. 32) Enough said.

4. Accept Influence from Your Spouse. 

What does this mean? It means being willing to talk to and listen to your significant other. Truly listen to understand and hear what their thought and opinions are. It means being respectful of a different opinion and recognizing that it is as important as your own. It means that when differences arise in the relationship, as they will, there is a willingness to compromise when necessary. This has been the hardest thing for me to learn in our nearly 26 years of marriage, but I can tell you that it makes a big difference in the tone of the relationship. Do I want to be happy, or do I always want to be right? I'll take happy!

5. Respectfully Handle Differences and Solve Problems

In my opinion, this is a skill that the majority of us need to learn. It doesn't come wired into us already. This section could be a post all of it's own. If I have time later, maybe I'll go over this in more detail. For now, I'm going to recommend that you get this book and read it! Click (here) for a link.

 6. Continue Courtship Through the Years.

Remember how I said marriage was work? It is, but some of the work to keep a marriage strong is simply having fun together! Dating was something that you enjoyed together that led you to marriage, right? Dating after marriage may be just the thing to keep the spark alive, and the love flourishing. The best part of it is, now you don't have to even leave home to date, if you don't want to! Date night can be whatever you want it to be, as long as it is something that you do together that strengthens your relationship. Enjoy!

If you think your marriage is starting to weaken, try these principles and see what happens. A major part of this class has been to put learning in action, and I have seen the evidence in my own marriage. These principles work.